Two days to go!

I've been packing for days now.  I'm really over it.  I decided to get rid of my furniture a bit prematurely, so here I am, several days before my trip cross country, laying in my sleeping bag in the middle of my empty apartment sweating my satchel off.  I'd get out of my sleeping bag, but my curtains are gone and I'm in the nude (wink), and my neighbors tend to complain about that.  They complained last year about my nude P90X routine I would do.  I told them I couldn't do it in my bedroom because I didn't have a tv in there.  I felt like I should have invoiced them.  Ungrateful neighbors.

I've wrapped up my work at the barn and am now looking forward to hitting the road.  My friend David was kind enough to help me make the 3000 mile drive from LA to DC.  For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of meeting David, I'll give you a brief introduction.

I met David while filming Full Metal Jousting last year.  He was in my training boot camp... the week before the final 16 competitors were picked.  There were 10 of us, and we weren't allowed to converse with the other potential cast members.  Most of us tried to talk when we could.  Not David.  He just was silent... and scary looking.  The very first time he spoke was when I was waiting to use the restroom, and he was exiting.  He used a paper towel to open the door handle.  He looked at me and said "Door knobs have germs" and walked away.  I started laughing because it reminded me of something Ralphy from the Simpsons would say... "My cat's breath smells like cat food."

David has that look that just screams "I'm gonna kill you in your sleep."  I was a little leery of him at first, but as the days went by, we became quite the odd duo.  We had a great time during the filming, and I even learned what a "blood choke" was... numerous times.  For those of you who aren't trained cage fighters, this is a choke hold that restricts the blood flow to the brain, causing you to black out.  David was nice enough to try this one on me five times.  Everyone was yelling "tap-out, tap-out!"  I had no idea what tap-out meant.  I started moving my feet around thinking "sidestep, sidestep, kick ball change."  Once again I saw stars.

Over the past year, David and I have hung out in both of our towns.  David, in West Hollywood, was sort of like playing Where's Waldo the special needs version.  You could spot him a mile away.  Likewise, while in rural Oregon, I stood out equally as much, and that was without my skinny jeans and tank top (I really butched it up with loose trousers and large flannel shirts).

Despite our many differences, when the two of us hang out, it is a crazy, out of control shit show.  So in a few days, we will hit the road.  We will be driving in my tiny convertible with all the stuff I need for the next two months, my guitar, my dog, and camping gear.  We plan to document the whole thing with video cameras... the good, the bad, the ugly.  So you're welcome in advance.  We'll keep this blog updated whenever we have internet access.